Comments on: It’s not my fault that I do drugs and alcohol! http://www.aquietmind.com/2007/09/24/its-not-my-fault-that-i-do-drugs-and-alcohol/ Tue, 06 Jan 2009 03:53:26 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Gamy Rachel http://www.aquietmind.com/2007/09/24/its-not-my-fault-that-i-do-drugs-and-alcohol/comment-page-1/#comment-15214 Gamy Rachel Mon, 14 Apr 2008 07:12:24 +0000 http://www.aquietmind.com/2007/09/24/its-not-my-fault-that-i-do-drugs-and-alcohol/#comment-15214 The most healing words I have found so far, is "don't condemn yourself" - it is so freeing to not beat up ourselves for mistakes. This is not to say that we are free to commit crime or do what we feel like doing anytime. Not condemning ourselves for the past mistakes will only help ourselves to move forward and learn from the past mistakes, so as to not repeat them again. But the first step to move forward is to not condemn ourselves. Best Gamy The most healing words I have found so far, is “don’t condemn yourself” - it is so freeing to not beat up ourselves for mistakes.

This is not to say that we are free to commit crime or do what we feel like doing anytime.

Not condemning ourselves for the past mistakes will only help ourselves to move forward and learn from the past mistakes, so as to not repeat them again.

But the first step to move forward is to not condemn ourselves.

Best
Gamy

]]> By: Jamie http://www.aquietmind.com/2007/09/24/its-not-my-fault-that-i-do-drugs-and-alcohol/comment-page-1/#comment-8101 Jamie Tue, 09 Oct 2007 11:59:23 +0000 http://www.aquietmind.com/2007/09/24/its-not-my-fault-that-i-do-drugs-and-alcohol/#comment-8101 Wise words indeed. In my experience our habits, beliefs, attitudes and addictions can be changed, but it must be with patience, understanding and compassion. Just quitting doesn't work... for me anyway. But by developing my self awareness, I have gained a much deeper insight into the root causes. I've learnt that these drivers are not the enemy, something that needs to be removed or fixed, but instead they are pointers to true meaning and fulfillment in life when approached with empathy and an open mind. Every cloud really does have a silver lining if we have to courage to really sit with it and face it, rather than run away or judge it. Wise words indeed. In my experience our habits, beliefs, attitudes and addictions can be changed, but it must be with patience, understanding and compassion. Just quitting doesn’t work… for me anyway. But by developing my self awareness, I have gained a much deeper insight into the root causes. I’ve learnt that these drivers are not the enemy, something that needs to be removed or fixed, but instead they are pointers to true meaning and fulfillment in life when approached with empathy and an open mind. Every cloud really does have a silver lining if we have to courage to really sit with it and face it, rather than run away or judge it.

]]> By: Colleen http://www.aquietmind.com/2007/09/24/its-not-my-fault-that-i-do-drugs-and-alcohol/comment-page-1/#comment-7974 Colleen Sun, 07 Oct 2007 07:26:25 +0000 http://www.aquietmind.com/2007/09/24/its-not-my-fault-that-i-do-drugs-and-alcohol/#comment-7974 At 17, I've developed the beginnings of bad habits involving hard drugs. The people in my home who are closest to me continue to waste their money (and their futures) for a weekend drug binge, and there was a time when I was right there with them. Now I have left the United States, for a year in Holland. After the first few months here I have had no desire to touch any of the ever so available drugs. I don't blame my friends for my previous drug use, but how come in this country where drugs are basically legal do I feel so disconnected from those old tendencies? At 17, I’ve developed the beginnings of bad habits involving hard drugs. The people in my home who are closest to me continue to waste their money (and their futures) for a weekend drug binge, and there was a time when I was right there with them. Now I have left the United States, for a year in Holland. After the first few months here I have had no desire to touch any of the ever so available drugs. I don’t blame my friends for my previous drug use, but how come in this country where drugs are basically legal do I feel so disconnected from those old tendencies?

]]> By: Eric http://www.aquietmind.com/2007/09/24/its-not-my-fault-that-i-do-drugs-and-alcohol/comment-page-1/#comment-7505 Eric Tue, 25 Sep 2007 11:56:44 +0000 http://www.aquietmind.com/2007/09/24/its-not-my-fault-that-i-do-drugs-and-alcohol/#comment-7505 I could not agree more. Can I just add one more thing. When observing my various addictions closely, I have the feeling that beside being alone responsible, I am the one making the decision to let them happen. I am the one making the decision to drink, to watch useless TV programs for hours, not to do my household tasks... Obviously the act of making the decision is more subtle and less consciously perceivable the more this has become an habit and that I am on auto-pilot mode. My current practice is to try every time to notice and tell out loud to myself what decision I am about to make (or I have just made) then ponder the outcome of the decision. Is it not all a question of habit? We do what we do because we have developed a habit and habits can be changed once we realise we are not the habit but have it. We can program ourselves to have any kind of habits. Robert, I am probably repeating myself, but I have no words to express my gratitude for what you do. I could not agree more.

Can I just add one more thing. When observing my various addictions closely, I have the feeling that beside being alone responsible, I am the one making the decision to let them happen.
I am the one making the decision to drink, to watch useless TV programs for hours, not to do my household tasks… Obviously the act of making the decision is more subtle and less consciously perceivable the more this has become an habit and that I am on auto-pilot mode.

My current practice is to try every time to notice and tell out loud to myself what decision I am about to make (or I have just made) then ponder the outcome of the decision.
Is it not all a question of habit? We do what we do because we have developed a habit and habits can be changed once we realise we are not the habit but have it. We can program ourselves to have any kind of habits.

Robert,
I am probably repeating myself, but I have no words to express my gratitude for what you do.

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